We have lost contact with the orbital craft of the Anglo-Saxon analytical philosophers’ mission. At the last PFA Congress, the Philosophical Flights Agency expressed concern for the crew’s moral condition. We recall the incident — after the seventh orbit of Earth, the navigator heard invective directed at him from the left hemisphere of the first pilot’s brain. He filed a lawsuit, together with an already prepared appeal submitted by the right hemisphere of the first pilot’s brain, in which we read, among other things: “Can a pig in a sty, pelted with insults, blush with anger? Certainly not! Hence my calm and my conviction that I am incapable of stirring you, barbarian.” The right hemisphere’s appeal had been prepared in anticipation of a lawsuit from the first pilot’s left hemisphere. This statement triggered a feverish debate on board, ranging across the problem of personal identity as required for the navigation of a spacecraft. Questions also arose: is the first pilot right- or left-handed?